Saturday, March 18, 2006

Godspeed, dear Presley!

Well over a year ago, our family was joined by two new members, Elvis and Presley, a pair of adorable goldfish, named so by my sister. I think it was the first time that I was so taken in by members of the animal kingdom. People who know me well, know that I usually keep a safe distance from animals like dogs and cats, preferring instead, to admire them from a distance. These goldfish, on the other hand, had me smitten from day one! There was just something in the way their spirit shone so brightly in their little antics and and beautiful orange colours...I loved them immediately. As the months passed we added colourful stones and a safe, artificial plant to their bowl. Despite the messy task of cleaning their bowl, which they appeared to soil with their poop almost as fast as the filter could clean half of it, it was a pleasure to make their environment as interesting and fun as possible. What was even more exciting was the way they responded to everyone in the house. They would come to the sides of the bowl and make furious gulping faces whenever someone even entered the kitchen door (kitchen being the place where they were kept) and they would come and swim close to my hand when I put it on the outside of the bowl to give them Reiki. Just watching them dance in the water, free to do anything they pleased in it, was relaxing.

Last night, Presley breathed his last...

It was surprisingly disturbing for me. When we had bought these fish, we had been told not to expect them to live for more than a fortnight or more than a month, max. I think it is to our credit that they lived in good health for well over one year and Elvis is still in good health, although I can tell that he misses his companion. I never realised when I got so attached to them...or to the idea of having them around.

Over the last couple of days, Presley showed signs of illness and we did all we could to treat him, but the sluggishness and the lack of appetite simply did not leave. It was as if he had given up on the desire to live and wanted nothing more than a quiet passing. Yesterday, when their large glass bowl was cleaned, Presley was put into a smaller bowl of medicated water, in the hope that he would show some improvement the next day. Most other people who saw him declared outright that his time had come, but somehow it was very hard for me to let go. Elvis seemed equally resilient to this idea...even when Presley was in the bowl, I had seen Elvis swimming under him and trying to push him up...almost as if to say "C'mon man! Move! What's come over you".

Later that night, I went to check on him one last time and found that he had turned over on his side. Even in my state of denial, I was certain that no defense mechanism would work at this point. In a last desperate act, I put Presley back in the big bowl, hoping against hope that something there would revive him. Unfortunately, he just sank to the bottom of the bowl, flapping a fin feebly. Elvis, in the meantime had dived to his side and just remained by him, very still, eyes fixed on his brother. This was the second wondrous demonstration of the attachment I saw between them (and my secret thought is that in some way, the Universe had conspired to allow Elvis and Presley to bid one another farewell). My family came to the scene shortly afterwards and asked me to put Presley back in the small bowl as any unseen infection he had could infect Elvis. I couldn't argue with that so I did as I was told. There was nothing much to do at that point, except pray for his pain to be lessened so I retired to my room, intending to return only in the morning.

Just before I went to sleep, I got an uncontrollable urge to go give hands-on healing to Presley...I couldn't fight it so before I knew what I was doing, I was in the kitchen placing my hands on the bowl and invoking Reiki to help him in any way. At that point, this little fellow, who had become quite inert, suddenly wiggled, one, two, three times...and then slowly went quite still. I knew that I had witnessed his life leaving him and I prayed that his soul reach its next incarnation soon.

Nothing could make Illusion more apparent. This little fish, that I had spent hours watching and playing with, was now nothing but a husk/shell which its indomitable spirit had left, in order to assume its new form. Looking at the body lying so inelegantly on its side and beginning to bloat, I could hardly imagine that it was Presley...and then it struck me...it was NOT Presley...it was just Presley's garment. He was now out shopping for new clothes and I hope he's found something even more beautiful than his old ones.

Godspeed, Presley, my friend! Godspeed!

No comments: