Farewell, 2006!

If you're reading this, thank you, yet again, for sharing my life, even if it's only by means of reading LifeStrings. It means a lot to me.

This is my last post for 2006, which has been a most remarkable year, as far as I'm concerned. It was a period in which I found knowledge, overcame barriers from within, got my first job, forged new friendships and above all, experienced love and compassion in a hundred different ways.

So, to mark the end of this year, I decided to write a post that would create a sense of closure (mostly for myself!) and appreciation for all that has happened over the last 365 days. My post takes the form of a list of lessons that I've learnt over this year. Many of you will have been directly involved in the experiences that have led to the thoughts I now express. Perhaps you will even be able to sense where you contributed to my learning :)

• The greatest strength we can find is within ourselves
  Nothing can surpass the potency of the human spirit, once it has committed itself to a positive pursuit. This year, I found strength and determination when I needed it the most, in order to overcome indecision, apprehension and certain anxieties. I don't think these three obstacles were very different from what we all routinely experience in the course of life, but I tend to observe that we prolong their duration in our consciousness by waiting for their dismissal to come from something external.
  
  What I found, over the last several months, was that the greatest light and energy source that we can hope to harness come from nothing other than our own souls. It manifests itself in our prayers, in our thoughts and in our actions, when we decide that we will mobilize all our resources for the good of ourselves as well as others. There is nothing that this power cannot accomplish. Hope unlooked for, comes into the lives of the hapless, small miracles happen to adjust the larger scheme of things most pleasantly and the Universe starts making sense.
  
  So, we need to believe that we are worthy of positive change, believe that we deserve good things to happen to us and we must love ourselves. Three little fragments of a sentence, but each carrying the weight of an unshakable mountain once established within the human heart. Do you think you can do it? I know you can...
  
• There is a Big Picture and we're all a part of it
  The Universe has a plan, it unfurls as we speak, and we all belong to it. Our lives have a meaning and purpose, each contributing to the way in which the we and our worlds shape themselves. Our thoughts and affirmations have power...they make things happen. They don't say "faith moves mountains" for nothing, you know!
  
  More than once this year, I've seen how the thoughts I've sent out have shaped my present and future (apart from helping me resolve issues of the past). The Universe responds to our thoughts with similar energies and experiences. So the little secret is to think about and visualise what you want from life, as clearly as you possibly can. Think it, see it, feel it and let it fill your being. It doesn't matter if it's something material or something abstract. It will come to you once you need it and believe that you will get it.
  [A small tip: It's usually a good idea to ensure that your thoughts for self-development are flavoured with some thoughts for the enhancement of others. Ask for anything you want but make sure that you affirm that it happens in the best interests of all concerned beings. Basically this means specifying the end and not the means (leave those to the Universe!). You see, there are many occasions in life when we want something and think about how we can get it, regardless of who or what that process might damage. So effectively, we're asking for something that goes against the interests of others...and in the process our thoughts and prayers conflict with those of other people. Ultimately it means delayed responses for everyone, and where's the good in that?
  
  Include the best interests of all others in your thoughts and the Universe acts so fast its unbelievable! Just try it sincerely a few times (even if it's just to humour me!)].
  
• Something good can be churned out of any situation
  Recently, a colleague left me speechless with appreciation when he spoke about Swami Vivekananda saying that no misery is undeserved. It suddenly struck me most poignantly that everything happens for a reason (I tend to attribute all those reasons to the Cycle of Karma, which I believe in very strongly)...the best and the worst. We have to be able to rejoice in the former and accept the lessons that are embedded in the latter.
  
  There are lessons to be learnt from even the worst experiences of life...even those which we think we have done nothing to deserve. There are two ways of looking at such situations: The first is the maladaptive way of thinking that we have been wronged and must now make all efforts to escape. The second is the path of conviction in which we believe that misfortune may have befallen us, but we still have the chance to stand our ground and we have the power to eliminate all the effects of that misfortune. It may take months and years, but we can and will do it.
  
  Writing this down is a lot simpler than putting it into practice, but I speak from experience...
  
• Sharing one's heart is never in vain
  There are few things comparable to the joy that comes from finding that you have what it takes to reach out emotionally to another person. There is so much suffering out there, in the lives of people we care about and also in the lives of those we may never meet. We might not be able to reach everyone, but we can make a huge difference in the lives of those we can reach.
  
  I'm not talking about material support here...I'm talking about emotional and compassionate help. To be able to help another person give release to their fears, apprehensions, distress and sorrows is a great gift. It is an ability that has to be nurtured with one's own evolution as a being. It comes from being able to make another sense that you care and that you will never use the knowledge that they give you for your own interests. Most importantly, it is an act of unconditional love that goes a long way in forging the most meaningful and affectionate relationships that one can imagine.
  
  Elizabeth Kubler Ross says it best: "I have never met a person whose greatest need was anything other than real, unconditional love. You can find it in a simple act of kindness toward someone who needs help. There is no mistaking love. You feel it in your heart. It is the common fiber of life, the flame that heals our soul, energizes our spirit and supplies passion to our lives. It is our connection to God and to each other."

So, with these little offerings, I share with you some elements of what my mind and heart have learnt over the last year and hope that you find something sustaining in them.

Happy New Year to you all!

God Bless!

Yaman

Twilight stretches its arms across the sky,
Kalindi robes herself in swirling shadows,
A gentle breeze whispers sweet nothings to all ears that listen...

On the riverbank sits the moon-skinned Radha,
Brighter than pearls, a tear gleams on her fair cheek,
Kanha fills her thoughts and she aches for his touch...

But He is a trickster, wily and unrelenting,
In hiding, he watches his beloved with mirth in his eyes,
And listens with amusement to the longing in her sighs...

Soon, he will cast aside his concealment,
And gleefully approach her on soundless feet,
His sudden embrace will startle her and his laughter will ease her cares...

Then tears shall be wiped, sighs shall become loving murmurs,
And songs of love will be whispered into the playful breeze...
_____________________________________________

The above poem came to me a few nights ago, when I was listening enraptured to Ustad Usman Khan's sitar recital. The aged maestro played Raag Yaman, which is particularly close to my heart because it is the first Raag I learnt from my Guru. Over the hour-long recital, the images associated with this poem flowed freely in my mind...writing them later took almost no effort...

Yaman is the quintessential twilight melody...the music of a silent yearning that morphs into devotion and hope. It reminds the performer and listener alike, of the elusive completion that all beings are searching for. The true beauty of the bandishes (lyrical compositions) of Hindustani music, lies in the hidden meanings of their words. To an unseeing mind, many of them will give voice to the passion and games of two lovers, describing their affection for each other. However, at a deeper and more abstract level, one can find the profound spiritual flavour that permeates all Hindustani music.

Radha and Krishna symbolise pure, unfettered love. With beauty that dwarfs anything else, Radha is the devotee who has submitted entirely to the divinity in Krishna. And despite his overt mischievousness and tendency to vex his beloved, Krishna is completely dedicated to her. Radha symbolises the human who yearns for spiritual awakening/realization and strives for this insight through devotion to a spiritual path. Krishna symbolises the awakening that lies at the end of that path, i.e. God. Krishna's little games and wiles mirror the way in which divinity permeates our lives with a hundred little coincidences that have no logical roots, but somehow make our lives brighter and more meaningful. The Universe tests us in myriad ways, but for those of us who have faith in the scheme of things, such tests always yield pleasant results.

Krishna tests Radha by delaying the moment of their union, but Radha, despite her sadness, never fails in keeping her mind fixed on him. In response to her devotion, he has no choice but to reveal himself to her. Similarly, Yaman tells the listener to maintain a focus on the supreme, despite the distress that comes from not achieving a speedy realisation of it...for once the mind is focused, there is no way that the divine will be able to ignore it.

God Bless!

PS. If you are interested in listening to something in Raag Yaman, the best thing to do would be to purchase its rendition by an acclaimed artiste. My favourite Yaman recitals have been by Smt. Kishori Amonkar (vocals), Pt. Bhimsen Joshi (Vocals), Gundecha Bandhu (vocals) , Ustad Vilayat Khan (Sitar) and Ustad. Amjad Ali Khan (Sarod).

You can also listen to some clips of Yaman on the following websites:

• www.itcsra.org (click on "Samay Raga" on the right side of the landing page and then select Yaman from the rotating display that appears).
  
• www.swarganga.org (click on the Raagabase link in the left navigation and locate Yaman in the database that appears)
  
• http://www.sawf.org/music/articles.asp?pn=Music this is the music section of www.sawf.org, which consists of brilliant articles on Indian Classical Music, written by Rajan Parrikar. Select the item called Kalyan, from the table of contents that appears.)

And remember...(especially if you are the sort of person who grumbles about not being able to 'understand' the words in a song)...in the words of Ustad Usman Khan...there is nothing to understand in this music, but there is a lot to feel! :)

M, G, R: A Trinity to Remember

It's been quite a while since I wrote something about a person. So, I thought, why not make this post special and write not just about no less than three amazing people. These are people who made a difference in my life...spending time with them has shaped my mind in many ways. Today, by writing about them, I get to express what each of them taught me...

To be able to teach well is an incomparable gift. Exceptional teachers facilitate the expansion of their students consciousnesses. They makes their pupils integrate all kinds of knowledge into a wholesome constellation of thoughts about the world. By example, they demonstrate ethics and principles that last their students for entire lifetimes. I'm blessed to have had many such teachers in my life and today, I want to tell you about three individuals who shine most brightly in that group. In a way, this is also a sequel to the last post on Xavier's because all three of them have been professors who taught me during my undergraduate studies...interestingly, they are all Xavierites themselves! :)

***
M

A single-minded dedication to one's work and striving for consistently high standards is what I learnt from M. I studied all three of the papers she taught and what never ceased to amaze me was the sheer enthusiasm and passion with which she taught papers which are often clubbed in the more technical and dry sections of psychology. I can't speak for everyone else but that passion rubbed off on me...not just for those papers, but in general for any work that I undertake. Above all the theories, formulae and testing nuances that she imparted, what she taught me was to do my best to grasp all kinds of knowledge and form relations between them. If there was ever a stickler for quality as well as quantity, it was M. Without really over-emphasising it, she managed to make us try and write lengthy answers to her questions, with as many different points as possible. There were only one or two people who could develop the physical skill of writing those enormous answers in a given span of time, but what almost everyone learnt was the content of those answers, regardless of whether or they were written completely on the answer sheet. When I look back on those days now, when college is over and those examinations seem so inconsequential in the scheme of things, I realise that getting that answer down pat was not the most important thing...the goal was the absorb all the knowledge that it required. That knowledge and its resultant perspective are what will last me a lifetime...not a few marks in some old exam!

M was someone who immersed herself in her studies with the intensity of an eagle swooping on its prey. She had several enormous tomes of psychology at her fingertips, her extempore citations gliding between those voluminous works with ease that belied the long hours she spent covering them. As students we got the benefit of having a living database who dictated a bunch of wonderfully compiled notes and spared us the trouble of poring over those books (which were in limited supply). Nevertheless, M never ceased exhorting the value of exhaustive reference work and pushed us to explore as much as we could, whether in books or on the Internet. Today, if people tell me that I have a tendency to want to go deeper and deeper into a given domain, I attribute a large part of it to her.

***
G

G challenged every stereotype, irrationality and dogma in my mind. I will never be able to thank her enough for the perspective she gave me over my second year in Xavier's, in which she taught a paper on gender studies. For the first time in my life, I found myself questioning everything that goes into establishing masculinity and femininity in an individual. Most importantly, I transcended the barrier of man and woman to reach the level of a Person. With a ruthless intensity she dissolved the schemas of gender stereotypes in her students, on a dazzling array of topics such as colours, emotions, displays of affection, menstrual cycles, career opportunities and education, sports, responsibilities etc. She knew just which topics to pick on, which givens to challenge and which fallacies to wring and hang up for drying. Religion, communalism, parenting standards and socialization were attacked with a surgical precision which suddenly showed me how much harm we do our children by forcing them into gendered compartments when indeed androgyny is the standard that we need to aspire to. Masculinity and femininity are required in all people, regardless of there sexual characteristics. She showed us why this was so and how to strive to instill androgyny in ourselves as well as the future generations we will rear.

Counselling was another discipline which G taught with an infectious passion. For the first time, I found myself floundering as I tried to make an empathic response to her statement, while she simulated a client. I realised in that moment, the difference between theory and application and began my attempts to bridge that gap at once! She showed us by example and in several heated discussions on all kinds of issues, how to go beyond textbook definitions and actually respond to human actions, which is the first step in becoming a good counsellor. G was all about being able to actually do what the books said. She wanted to see us develop the skills to create an empathic and genuine atmosphere in a relationship, to be able to zero in on the root of another's distress and then devise a way to help him/her confront and resolve it. Despite the fact that this was beyond the scope of her paper, she took the time to show us glimpses of how it is done and those of us who are considered good counsellors today, owe her quite a bit of the credit.

There's another small thing about G that deserves mentions...her impeccable sense of style and personal grooming. I've yet to come across someone who is so tastefully attired. Whether her outfit was Indian or Western, there is never a thread out of place. Her jewellery and clothes are picked to be understated but extremely elegant. I know that there was more than one girl in my class to took tips from her clothing habits and the way she carried herself...perfectly poised and radiating professionalism!

***
R

"And remember, Santa doesn't necessarily wear a red suit!" These were R's parting words for me, when we last had a small chat over the phone, just yesterday. To be quite frank, they capture her essence perfectly.

Cheerful, (genuinely) optimistic beyond belief, someone who always manages to get time for everything she cares about (and believe me, that is no small bunch of things!), perfectly organised and marvellously in tune with her inner child. That's only a small part of the complex human phenomenon that is R.

In class, she would begin by sketching a detailed outline of the chapter on the blackboard. Once that was in place, it was really simple for a student figure out the exact sequence in which information was to be understood. That, and the fact that she has the most superb blackboard handwriting that I have ever seen...honestly, I put it only second to blackboard calligraphy (which I have yet to see).

At the end of several lectures, she read out something inspirational...a poem, something from a Chicken Soup book, a funny but meaningful anecdote etc. It was always chosen to emerge seamlessly from the academic topic we had been discussing, but by the time it was over we had absorbed some learning for life. There was so much of her spirit infused in those stories...they just stayed with you!

"Bright", is another word that describes her. She was never one for the sober look...a trademark ponytail, colourful t-shirts and jeans, trendy kurtis and a loud and unreserved laugh made her stand out wherever she went. Remarks about her appearance being more like a student than a teacher were as good as water on a ducks back because she is a person who thrives on her individuality and free-spiritedness. Whilst more than one astonished head may turn when she walks by, her bearing overflows with unflinching ease and self-confidence. She's all about being comfortable in your own skin, and that is something that I think everyone should strive for!

One of the nicest experiences I've had as a student was brought about by her, near the Christmas holidays. On such days she would wear a Santa hat on her head the whole day, just revelling in the happiness that it gave her. She also made it a point to infuse the Christmas spirit into her classes on that day, in whichever way possible. On one of these days, she had arranged for all her students to pick chits out of a box. Each chit had the name of another student from the class. Each person's task was to get a gift for the person who's name was on the chit, without ever letting that person know who had got his/her name. The gifts were all supposed to be very inexpensive but as meaningful as could be managed within that stipulated amount. In the next class, we all put the gifts we had bought in a single place from where she handed out the presents to each person in her class. I will never forget how good it felt to overhear the recipient of my gift telling someone else how touched she was by the little present that I had bought for her. It made me feel wonderful and I knew that R was entirely responsible for it.

Yes, Santa does not necessarily appear in a red suit. Santa comes in myriad forms, but makes a consistent appearance in R, whenever Christmas comes and oddly even otherwise! :)

****************

So that was my tribute to three exceptional people who've influenced my life in goodness knows how many ways. I hope in some way this post reminds you of great teachers in your life...and in case it does not, then I hope that you get to know people like them very soon!

God Bless and Ho Ho Ho!