Darbari

Leave my side, O Kanha!
Speak to me no more...
Sweet words shall not move me
And caresses will not heal my pain.

Thus speaks the grieving Radha,
With angry tears in her eyes,
And her voice trembling with sorrow,
As she turns her face from her beloved...

Heedless, the Lord embraces her,
Even as she strains against his touch,
His breath whispers in her midnight hair,
And His fragrance fills the air she breathes...

Weakening in her pride, she struggles still...
A candle flickering in the gale of his affection,
Defying his love with all her might,
Furious at herself for seeing her own folly...

But He is as unrelenting as the wind,
His love swoops on her from all sides,
And her resolves crumbles against his smiles,
Even as he wipes the kohl from her fair cheeks...

In wonder then, Radha gazes at Him,
Krishna, revealed in his infinite form,
Space disappears, Time ceases and the Self dissolves,
Only Love remains...eternal...unchanging...
_______________________________

This poem was written to express sentiments that the Raag Darbari evoked in me, as I basked in Ustad Rais Khan's spirited rendition of the same. I witnessed the performance of the sixty-six year old maestro a few weeks ago, at Mumbai's famous Nehru Centre.

The theme of Radha and Krishna's love was used as a metaphor for something that many people experience in their lives. I have experienced it myself on many occasions...even on the day of the recital that inspired this poem...

You see, I had not made any plans to go for this programme. The passes for the show were given to me by some well-wishers all of a sudden and I quickly had to make some plans to reach the venue soon after I finished at the office. What happened however, was that a carefully constructed plan to reach the auditorium on time, collapsed most miserably and I reached a full hour late. My plight on the way there was quite pathetic. I was under the impression that I would reach too late to attend the Ustad's performance and would instead have to sit through only the second recital, which was by an artiste for whom I have no real liking! I fumed silently, until I got there, silently reprimanding the Universe for setting me in the thick of Mumbai traffic.

Imagine my surprise however when I walked into the hall and realised that the Ustad had not yet performed! Instead the stage was occupied by the other artiste, who was coming to the end of his recital (and with due respect to his knowledge of music, I was glad to have missed most of it, since I don't like his way of presenting the Raag!). I was perplexed, because even the pass had made it seem like the Ustad was performing first...I still don't know what happened, but the fact remains that I got to witness his entire performance soon after...and was left week in the knees, because of the sheer artistry to which I was exposed.

Darbari is a Raag that evokes a feeling of despondence, sorrow and reluctance in the beginning, but gradually takes the listener towards a sweet realisation and even ecstasy. Oddly, this is quite similar to what I experienced in the process of reaching the auditorium so horribly late, only to find that I had missed nothing. In fact, now that I think more about it, I think the scheme of things conspired to keep me away from the performance that I would not have liked and showed me the one that I will remember forever! :)

Similarly, the poem I wrote is woven around Radha's anger at Krishna, for some action of his that annoyed her. She is angry with him for having done something and decides to reprimand and punish him for the same. Nevertheless, she is unable to hold on to her disgruntlement and sadness for long because Krishna loves her unconditionally; in the face of his ceaseless affection and goodwill, her negative sentiments fade into nothing.

The Universe/God loves us unconditionally, even when our lack of understanding causes us to question this love. Sometimes circumstances make us question the grand scheme of things and we accuse the supreme of abandoning or neglecting us. However, we have usually only to wait a little before things happen that make us realise that despite our misgivings, there was plan and reason behind the occurrence of events in our lives. Somehow, and sometimes in a very convoluted way, each event in our lives has a meaning, shaped ever so carefully by the hand of the divine.

I know it's not necessarily easy to accept these words, especially if events in your life have led you to question the role of God in your life. Nevertheless, I hope and pray that positive change occurs in your life, driven by your hopes and prayers... and that you remember this offering of mine when the grand plan of your life unfurls before you.

God Bless!

Hello 2007!

There are just about 15 minutes to before the date changes to 2nd January 2007...so let me finish this fast!

This is the first of many posts that will find themselves on LifeStrings in the year 2007. I don't have a specific topic in mind, yet...at present I'm still revelling in the odd excitement of having entered the new year. I don't know what it is that always gets me so excited about the first of January (it's something like the thrill I used to feel on my birthdays, when I was much younger and believed that we only grow taller on our birthdays!).

This year has opened itself with an inspiration for hope, prayers and conviction. Hope for the joy, love and compassion that I will find in the days to come, prayers to spread such thoughts and actions in all areas of my life and the conviction that I will indeed do so, no matter what!

This evening, as I took a walk in the deliciously cool breeze, I suddenly found myself thinking along such lines...and almost on cue, a dozen sparklers flew into the dark sky, exploding with their jubilant hues (apparently there was a celebration of some kind in a nearby building, where the residents were lighting these firecrackers). On and on they went, streaking up in golden trails and filling the night with their colours...and somehow I knew at once that the Universe had conspired once again...giving me an indication of the happiness that is to come.

I welcome you to the new year of posts on LifeStrings...more shared experiences, thoughts, insights and love. :)

God Bless!