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As a student of Counselling Psychology, my course involves a lot of work with the physically disabled...or the "differently abled" (which is the more appropriate term these days). For several days my fellow students and I worked in a vocational rehabilitation centre, where our work was mostly with hearing impaired, speech impaired and orthopaedically disabled people. Recently, we've started working on group-based interventions for the visually impaired individuals.When I had to start preparing for these tasks, I had to prepare myself in no small measure. How would I communicate with someone who wouldn't be able to hear what I had to say, or someone who wouldn't be able to see my expressions, gestures etc.? Would I be able to react to a person with a badly twisted body with the same acceptance and unconditional positive regard that I've learnt to incorporate in my interactions with 'normal' people?...these were just a few of the little doubts that I had gnawing at me. In spite of all that my teachers did to prepare us for the actual work, all I could do was feel a little more nervous each time they said that they were confident that we would be fine.
Finally, on the day we had to start working in the vocational rehab centre, I walked through the doors of the institution with much the same feeling that I think a child must have, when he falls closer to the surface of the deep end of a swimming pool, having been tossed unceremoniously in that direction, by a swimming instructor who doesn't know much about child psychology (my thoughts on such instructors will be discussed later). Mercifully, like the child who just allows his instincts to take over and bobs to the surface, I also soon found myself breathing easily...and in fact enjoying myself thoroughly...at this point I can't help but be reminded of a sms that my mother sent me this morning...it said "It isn't what you know that counts, it's what you think of in time." I think this was exactly the lesson that was imprinted deep in my mind after my experiences there...which turned out to be some of the most informative and enjoyable learning experiences that I have had till date.
Somewhere along the line, the fundamental skills of counselling have found their way into my mind, with the blessings that come from dedicated and persevering teachers/mentors. When I started work there, it was almost like I could not remember all the theoretical knowledge that I had learned for the last 3 years!!! But when I looked nervously at my client - a 30 year old man whose leg was badly damaged by childhood polio - limping by my side as we walked towards the counselling centre, it dawned on me that the counselling needs of this man would not be different from those of any other person...it was just that one cause of his counselling requirement was highly obvious. The second this hit me, I was fine. It all slowly drifted back to me...the knowledge, the skills, the preparation. By the time we had seated ourselves and begun the session, I was well rooted in the certainty that I would be just fine with this person...and that is what happened. What followed was a deeply enriching series of sessions in which we worked on his self esteem, his emotional inhibitions and his career plans, among other things.
Another client that I interacted with was a hearing impaired as well as speech impaired fellow, of the same age as me. Getting to know about him was a challenging task to say the least...for the first time I had to learn to communicate without words and without sound. Sure, we did the occasional dumb charades in class and mimed silly things to each other when the prof was looking elsewhere during a lecture, but holding a prolonged and informative conversation was something else! There I was, without a clue about sign language, seated opposite a patient, bright eyed boy who only knew how to communicate in gestures. And so it started...initially, most of the communication happened with us writing hastily scribbled questions and answers on pieces of paper...but soon we both lost patience. I discarded my caution, perforce and started making up signs, expressions and gestures, with the observations that I had made of this boy in his interactions with other people like himself. I was flabbergasted at the progress this made...within a short while, he had told me about this childhood, his brothers, his passion for swimming, his hopes to get married and start his own trade...all this was conveyed through vibrant expressions, his hand gestures and the occasional strangled, broken sounds that emerged from his throat...sounds that even he could not hear.
I learned some invaluable things from my time spent in the company of such people. First, communication is really what you make of it...we can do so much without speaking...and words are only a small part of what it takes to communicate even such complex emotions as caring, compassion and interest. Secondly...I learned to truly be grateful for the fact that I have all my senses intact and all my faculties functioning optimally...while we are children we are always told to be happy with whatever we have, but I don't think we really learn that lesson until we see people like this. People who are thriving in worlds of absolute silence or people who will never know what it is like to walk upright. When we see them surviving well and proudly holding their own despite a thousand societal problems that they have to bear, that extra pound you just can't stop thinking about losing, the ugly little mole on your face that you always think people are talking about etc...they just seem so silly...
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